New moms are not lonely and craving company. We have
company, a 7 pound eating and pooping monster who is attached to us about 23
hours of the day. So while we value our friends and family and appreciate the
love and attention it is not always wanted or needed.
What a new mom needs is sleep and food. We spend most of the
day in our robe covered in breast milk and vomit, the last thing we want to do
is shower and attempt to squeeze into presentable clothes to be reminded we
still don’t fit in 90% of them. Again, it’s not that we don’t love and appreciate
the love, help, and support but this is a time where a mommy needs to be
completely selfish and do what’s best for her for her own health (and sanity)
as well as for the health of the baby.
People who are not parents or those who have forgot how
difficult it is to be a new mom tend to romanticize it. A new mom is not sitting around all day
eating and rocking a sweet happy baby. For myself, I must cry or think I can’t
do this ten times a day. I’m tired, the laundry is piled high, I’m starving,
there is dog hair everywhere even though I vacuum every day, my three-year-old is
starved for attention and I feel guilty turning on another TV show promising
her I will come play with her as soon as I get the baby down. However, my
colicky one month old refuses to sleep unless he is in my arms which makes
getting anything done impossible.
So, a few helpful hints if you are going to visit a new mom.
Come when its convenient for her, not you. This would preferably be during the
time of day the baby is awake so that you can hold him while she gets some of the
things done on her checklist. If the baby is eating, give her some space and
depending on how close you are do some things around the house, run the vacuum,
let the dog out, switch over a load of laundry. Most women will say no its okay
I got it, but be insistent and help her out. Unless you get the feeling she
needs to vent or talk, urge her to take some time to herself or to go take a nap
and I guarantee she will gladly take you up on it.
My last tip, is to always bring food! We have no time to
prepare a good meal for our family so help us out and bring a casserole we can
throw in the oven to impress our starving husbands!
Check out these other sites for the Do’s and Don’ts of visiting
a new mom!
