Carving Out Time

I utter the words “5 more minutes” about 50 times a day. “Mommy just needs to finish this really quick” … hours later I’m still sitting at my computer attempting to finish that week’s course load. Being a ‘stay at home home’ as well as a full time student and also making a few extra dollars working from home one day a week comes with a lot of stress and challenges, but the biggest of them all is ensuring you are giving your kids enough attention.

It is very tough to put aside the dishes in the sink, but try to save them for a little later if your child wants to do something with you. When I look back at my childhood my favorite memories include the special one on one time spent with each of my parents. The times my dad took us finishing or we stayed up late playing one more game of rummy resonate with me. Traditions like spending an entire day making dozens and dozens of Christmas cookies with my mom are ones that I have now started to do with my kids, and they love it!

With that being said, I have a few tips to help the mom who is struggling to do it all.

Don’t Over plan

Try not to set yourself up for failure or disappointment. Being a parent there is no way the whole house is going to get cleaned all in one day, or for that matter stay clean for longer than 20 mins. We all know the second we decide to mop the floor the kids are going to spill something on it. Plan a few things and if you happen to get more done that day then call it a success.

Do set a Schedule

Trying to allocate an hour each day for specific tasks is helpful. For me, I try to get up an hour before the kids so that I can answer e-mails or study without being interrupted. I also try to set up an hour when the baby is sleeping that I have just one-on-one time with my three-year-old so that she feels special.

Put your Kids to work

I try to make menial tasks fun for my 3-year-old so I can kill two birds with one stone. She loves to help make dinner so if I am peeling potatoes she gets to pick them out and help wash them. Sometimes dinner takes a little longer but it gets done and its less time the little one spends on her own watching TV.

Time Just for The Kids

We do a movie night every Friday or Saturday which includes games and popcorn and our three-year-old loves it. It gives us a little time to relax but it’s also special time I get to cuddle her while the hubby holds the baby.

It takes an Army

DON’T feel bad for asking for help, we all need it and your family loves spending time with their grandkids/niece and nephews. My mother takes my daughter once a week and it’s a miracle how much I can get done in that time period. I am even happier because she is getting out of the house and spending time with family.

The laundry can wait, our kids will be teenagers and want nothing to do with us in no time.

Jadyn and I playing with Polly's I had as a little girl

Check out this article for other helpful tips:

CARVING OUT TIME FOR DOING THE THINGS THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT

Do's & Don'ts of Visiting a new Mom

New moms are not lonely and craving company. We have company, a 7 pound eating and pooping monster who is attached to us about 23 hours of the day. So while we value our friends and family and appreciate the love and attention it is not always wanted or needed.  

What a new mom needs is sleep and food. We spend most of the day in our robe covered in breast milk and vomit, the last thing we want to do is shower and attempt to squeeze into presentable clothes to be reminded we still don’t fit in 90% of them. Again, it’s not that we don’t love and appreciate the love, help, and support but this is a time where a mommy needs to be completely selfish and do what’s best for her for her own health (and sanity) as well as for the health of the baby.

People who are not parents or those who have forgot how difficult it is to be a new mom tend to romanticize it.  A new mom is not sitting around all day eating and rocking a sweet happy baby. For myself, I must cry or think I can’t do this ten times a day. I’m tired, the laundry is piled high, I’m starving, there is dog hair everywhere even though I vacuum every day, my three-year-old is starved for attention and I feel guilty turning on another TV show promising her I will come play with her as soon as I get the baby down. However, my colicky one month old refuses to sleep unless he is in my arms which makes getting anything done impossible.

So, a few helpful hints if you are going to visit a new mom. Come when its convenient for her, not you. This would preferably be during the time of day the baby is awake so that you can hold him while she gets some of the things done on her checklist. If the baby is eating, give her some space and depending on how close you are do some things around the house, run the vacuum, let the dog out, switch over a load of laundry. Most women will say no its okay I got it, but be insistent and help her out. Unless you get the feeling she needs to vent or talk, urge her to take some time to herself or to go take a nap and I guarantee she will gladly take you up on it.

My last tip, is to always bring food! We have no time to prepare a good meal for our family so help us out and bring a casserole we can throw in the oven to impress our starving husbands!

Check out these other sites for the Do’s and Don’ts of visiting a new mom! 

30 Don'ts When Visiting a New Mom - Andrea Dekker

Etiquette Rules to Follow When Visiting a New Mom | Parenting

From 1 to 2

I thought my life was crazy with just a 3 year old and then it happened, a newborn. Life is different after your first kid but it is flipped upside down with your second.

You wake up in the morning (who am I kidding, should I really count those 3 hours of sleep?), attempt to feed the baby, who is quite an angry little man at 6 a.m. You are careful not to wake the sleeping 3-year-old who crawled into my bed at 2 a.m. because if brother sleeps in your room she thinks she should too. On a good day you are lucky to get the baby back down around 7:30 and either enjoy that much needed cup of coffee in solace or attempt to get 30 minutes of sleep before the toddler wakes up screaming because you have left her alone. Yes, my independent 3-year-old has somehow back-tracked and is instant upon ALWAYS being in the same room/within eyesight of you.

Once you have spent an hour arguing with said three-year-old about which outfit she should wear (she ends up in the same Elsa dress she wore yesterday) and that yes she does have to brush her teeth and no she can’t have a brownie for breakfast that beautiful baby starts screaming in the swing in the corner. Navigating the kitchen with only one arm and baby in the other is a masterful art but you somehow manage to efficiently get the toddler breakfast, empty the dishwasher, and put on another pot of coffee.

It looks like there has been a small explosion under my daughter’s chair, as half of the cereal ended up on the floor and thankfully the dog is there waiting to do the job you really don’t have time to do. The baby is sleeping so now you tiptoe upstairs with toddler and computer to build a castle out of blocks (never as good as daddy’s) while simultaneously attempting homework

Screaming, the baby is awake yet again and it is way past lunch time. Swoop up screaming child, grab out a Lunchable for the toddler, call dog over to clean up the mess. You look down to see the baby has not only puked on your shirt but there is brown residue sliding down his legs and on to you. Crap, literal crap is seeping through your shirt, but you pat yourself on the back for deciding to not get dressed today and be thankful it was only an old pajama shirt stained with poop. Your inquisitive toddler runs over to investigate and now all three of you are marked. Two baths later and fresh clothes for everyone you meander back downstairs to stare blankly into the fridge and ponder dinner. Just when you have given up and decided on cereal you hear that magic noise, daddy’s home… you breathe a sigh of relief and proceed to word vomit your long day all over him the minute he walks through the door.  You have a second set of hands to help wrangle the toddler. Prepare dinner and get the kids ready for bed so that you can possibly, if you don’t pass out somewhere, accomplish a homework assignment or get a full load of poop and puke stained laundry done.

Transitioning From One Child To Two: Hello, Shit Show

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